Here it is, almost the end of Day 23. We are celebrating as we have moved over into the less intensive care of the NICU - Called the Continuing Nursing Care department. It is truly our next big step before we can go home.
Jaxson weighs 3lbs and 14oz today. He is still not gaining weight appropriately, and they have increased his feedings to 35mls of fortified breast milk every 3 hours. We are keeping an eye on his digestive system, as occasionally they are still pulling up undigested milk from his stomach after his feedings. One thing we have been very concerned with for the last two weeks is a horrible condition that all preemie parents are aware of, called NEC. Although Jaxson is doing very well, the nurses are always aware of this condition and keeping a close eye on him, though they have had times of concern of this, he is currently not showing any symptoms. He's doing very well, and he is working hard on getting big and strong! (And Mom and Dad are working on just trying to keep sane!)
We have been practicing "nuzzling" for the last week at every feeding, to try to teach him how to breast feed. Today was the first day that we weighed him before and after, to find out that he had ingested 10mls of milk! What a big man! I couldn't be more proud of him and all of his hard work!
I am getting more comfortable handling him, getting him in and out of his isolette, and holding him. He doesn't seem so sick to me anymore, and somehow feels less "fragile." He did have a SIDs like episode last night when I was holding him to my chest, but the nurses helped me through it, and helped me feel comfortable about how much bigger and stronger he will be by the time he goes home...still....a very scary thing to witness as a mom.
All things considered, I am getting very tired. I am getting tired of being at the hospital and tired of the roller coaster. Maybe it has been because of how this whole year has played out, but I am sick of the ups and downs that is being in the NICU with a premature baby. Emotionally its exhausting, as I find myself going through waves of guilt, why me's, sadness and anger. Either way, I count my blessings and am so grateful that Jaxson is doing so well. We could not have been any more blessed and I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. Said very simply, I am in LOVE.