Monday, November 28, 2011
The doctors have been urging us to go transport Jaxson to a hospital closer to home - but financially I don't know if we can afford the ambulance ride, and I'm not sure what the facilities will be like when we get there - I'm feeling like we're all on our own with these decisions, as the help had been so available and been so great before, I feel like we're falling through the cracks.
I am feeling slightly defeated, lonely, angry...feelings I've often felt before, and am finding more common recently. I am sure the sleep deprivation and anxiousness to get out of here are mostly to blame for this. I am getting tired of trying to make people understand what is going on and what i need, and am frustrated that I am being perceived the way that I am. I don't understand how I am so misunderstood in such a horrible situation where things shouldn't even need to be said. No one matters to me but my son, and my focus is to get him out of the hospital. I am sorry that I am hurting feelings - I simply don't know what else to do. If I had to take other people's feelings into account to get through the day, I'd go crazy.